What is this amazingness?

Oh. Right. It's a blog.

I can still remember the first blog I ever had. It was on a message board in junior high. A special forum was created so that each of us junior high girls could post the intricate details of our lives and wait until some 40 year old rapist picked a victim.

My second blog came shortly after this one, still during junior high. My friends and I found LiveJournal.com. Now we could let our hearts bleed on an real blog sight. Our threats of anorexia, feelings of inadequacy, and immature temper tantrums were now easier to find! Easier to access! They were there for the whole world to see!!

At the end of each post, we got to pick out a smiley that would state our current mood. A blue cat would tell our friends that we were sad (weren't we all in junior high?) A pink heart would tell them we were happy. A yellow sunbeam would tell them we were feeling sarcastic. And the layouts we got to choose from!

Xanga came after LiveJournal. This was my primary blog during high school. I learned how to upload pictures of myself. The program made it easy to change the colors in the layout so that I was able to change it at least once a month (It simply wasn't cool to let one's layout lie stagnant for more than that amount of time). All my friends had xangas. My online friends, my real friends. People actually began telling me how interesting my blog was. Yes, I did things right with that little xanga.

Sadly, as the years went by, people began leaving xanga. My friends began flocking toward myspace and my dear number of faithful readers went down. I tried both myspace and blogger a few times. I though perhaps I should move with the masses. It just wasn't the same, though. Xanga was my home. If I couldn't be there, I couldn't anywhere. And so, with great sadness, I stopped writing my blog. My dear xanga.

Of course, throughout this long history, there were sacrifices to be made. These sacrifices mostly came in the area of homework. French could wait just a little. Science wasn't all that important considering that I was going to be a writer. It could all wait... For livejournal. For myspace. For xanga. I was doing a horrible thing, but it felt so right.

Now, in my freshman year of college, what do I find myself doing? Another blog. But this time it's different. This time it won't take me away from my homework. It's not halting my academic advances (when you consider that I have to take this class to get my degree). This time I'm writing a blog because it is homework.

I find it all a bit ironic. In a different sense than before, it seems wrong. I already ceased being hooked on this triviality. Now my school is trying to get me hooked on it again.

It brings up so many thoughts.

It makes me ponder so many things.

And it makes me realize...

If my kid ever has to make a blog for homework... I think I'll cry.